What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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