she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
