The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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