its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
