This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
