I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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