oh god the rape fog is back!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
