I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize