Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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