I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
