I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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