I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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