Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
