Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
