Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
