The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
