She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize