Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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