I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
