I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize