I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
