Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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