plz talk dirty to me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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