I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
