Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
