I'm so fucking centered right now
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize