i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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