I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
