Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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