yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize