another moral hangover. fuck.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
