Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
