I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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