I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
