You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
