I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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