mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
