Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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