I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize