Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize