If i come over, it means nothing
Sry I called you an 8
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
