So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
