So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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