none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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