I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
