I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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