i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
