we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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