just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize