I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
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Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
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I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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