Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
