This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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