just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
