I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
