Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
