You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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