I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Even my vagina gasped.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
