well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
