Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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