then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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