Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
