Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
