Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize