We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
