OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
